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The True Meaning of St. Patrick's Day
by Chris Tyrrell

published 3/13/00

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Chris Tyrrell is LeisureSuit.net's Staff Humorist.



MOST RECENT YAK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:

Subj: The comments
I find it funny that 9 years after this comedic peice was penned that folks are still commenting on it. From race bashing to salvation and everything in between and green.

Historical factoids and misinformation only ring true in these comments and not in the original written peice. Any excuse to spout out "Jesus saves" and nothing about the brutality a lot of the Irish people faced in the name of the All Mighty! Pagans across the span of time have suffered (and still do) at the hands of people like Patrick (Maewyn was his Pagan birth name. An orphan from Wales.)

And as for the snakes? They weren't really reptiles for everyone should know that was impossible...it was in referance to The snakes referred to are the "Serpents of Wisdom" -- the DRUIDS. As the Irish flutist James Galway said, "St. Patrick came to Ireland and turned a lot of happy Heathens into fighting Christians."

To you Christians here, I may be going to hell for being who and what I am but I have a lot of friends waiting there for me!

BTW, Tyrrell...I liked your article. When writing sparks others to think, research and dream it is truely a great peice of work.

-- Late Bloomer
Mar 18, 2008 at 6:09PM

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Chris Tyrrell (Irishman)
In the tradition of families like the Partridges, the Von Trapps, and the Mansons, we in the family Tyrrell are only truly happy when we're working together--as a team. So what better time--I thought--to throw the guitars in the back of the bus, and scrawl bloody names on the wall, than St. Patrick's Day? In order to fully understand and celebrate the Gaelic heritage, I decided that one must hear the voices of the father (Robert), the son (Patrick), and the holy spirit (Justin), as well as the mother (Claudia) who--while not really Irish at all--gave birth to me, so I owe her a couple of paragraphs too.

Each toiled away at their musings on the Irish separately, and yet each came up with startlingly similar themes: alcohol and making fun of Germans. But if you go beyond the drinking and the racism, you get to the real heart of what it is to be Irish. I will leave that up to each reader to decide for themselves.

I hope my family is as entertaining for you as they have always been for me. If you want, consider this my Angela's Ashes. Or, consider this my way of phoning in yet another LeisureSuit article.

One more thing. All the stories I've presented on LeisureSuit so far have been utter lies. The following, however, was actually written by my family members. Please be kind. My Mom has mob ties. Faith and b'gora!

Robert Tyrrell (Irish)
Top Ten List on What It's Like to be Irish (i.e., Why It's Great to be Irish):

  1. Irish coffee is spiked.
  2. You are born with charm, wit, good looks, and a passion for Notre Dame football.
  3. Complete Irish breakfasts (bacon, sausage, eggs, potatoes, etc.) are part of your heritage. Who cares about cholesterol?
  4. You get to hate the English.
  5. Today is a lovely day for a Guinness.
  6. Tomorrow is another lovely day for a pint or two.
  7. You get to name one of your sons Patrick, and hope that he gets rid of all the snakes in his life.
  8. Irish wakes are fun occasions.
  9. Nobody cares if you're full of shit. It's just the blarney in you.
  10. If you're Irish, you're not German, Polish, or (God forbid) Italian.

Patrick Tyrrell (Irish)
The funny thing about St. Patrick's Day is . . . I don't know yet, but that's what I'm attempting to write.

It's kind of hard to be comedic about a holiday that's so inessential to us all. When one is forced to ponder the significance of a solid St. Patrick's Day, one finds oneself peering into the same vast abyss one encounters as one repeatedly refers to oneself in the third person. While the latter hollow pretense is grammatical, and thus tolerated by habit, the lack of substance behind something like a holiday (a magic fountain of gaiety) is alarming. To illustrate the deprived reservoir of St. Patrick's Day traditions, allow
us to free associate on the meaning of St. Patrick's Day and witness how long we can hang on.

Trial 1: shamrocks, leprechauns, pot of gold, Lucky Charms, Apple Jacks--DONE!

Trial 2: Ireland, potato famine, terrorists, newspaper sections I don't read--DONE!

Trial 3: wearing green, not wearing green, getting punched by Big Mac (the Irish bully with the irresistibly appropriate street name), crying, setting Big Mac's ferret on fire--DONE!

Trial 4: drunken-surly-parading homophobes, Imperial Stormtroopers--DONE!

I'm no scientist, but I think it's safe to assume I'm right. About what? I'm no philosopher, either.

I think what we need to ask ourselves is how a holiday as inscrutably pointless as St. Patrick's Day has managed to enjoy national recognition for so long. Clearly, our answer must relate to the most widely revered celebratory habit--excessive intoxication. If we start by assuming that the essence of St. Patrick's Day is an excuse to get drunk, the rest of the pieces fall into place. St. Patrick is nothing more than a proxy, I'm afraid, the immunizing façade of an otherwise intolerably prurient occasion.

But why an Irish saint? Simple. In order to convey to the masses the desired end of alcohol consumption, our holiday planners must have considered that any celebration centered around another culture imports that culture's traditions. Which cultures are world renowned for their drinking habits? The Irish, the Germans, and the Russians. Since the notion of a German or Russian saint is akin to inverting space-time, the impotent land of the Irish was chosen as a far less unsettling cultural focus.

Justin Tyrrell (Irish)
"Why I Hate Being Irish--If Indeed I Truly Am"

First of all, am I even Irish? Genetically? Very. Emotionally? That indeed is a question mark. Number one, I hated alcohol at the tender age of 16. Right away, the Irish embassy should be doing an investigation. Second of all, I don't believe in violence at all. ('Since when are the Irish violent?' you ask. Well, I do remember that St. Patrick's Day traditionally will result in riots--again coming back to alcohol. Let us not also forget about the Notre Dame FIGHTING Irish.) Finally, I truly enjoy sports and playing them. Irish tend to enjoy soccer from now and then, but that is about it. Herding sheep does not count as a sport, remember.

Genetically, though, I am clearly Irish. I have been referred to as "Powder" because I am so white and cannot get a tan. I burn easily, and have a lot of freckles and moles. Ah yes, I also have always had a taste for Lucky Charms and all of the marshmallowey goodness that ensues in every box.

The Irish culture itself makes me ashamed. First of all, there is no Irish cuisine like Mexican food, Chinese food, Indian, German, or even French food. All the Irish like is Guinness and Corned Beef and cabbage. Yum. Plus, every nationality listens to some type of music and has some kind of cool
dance. The Irish, have some crap called a jig. This dance is where tiny women in plaid skirts use rapid movements with their legs, and absolutely no movement in the arms, to tell a story. Basically, it is Riverdance all year long.

Another thing: What is with those geeky leprechauns? They always have been a mystery to me. I don't remember them doing any kind of cool, magical stuff, but just skipping around with abnormally big and hairy ears. They freak me out because they are so tiny and odd. Worst of all, they were the cause for Randy Quaid to do some terrible miniseries on leprechauns back in October or something.

At least the Irish have always had a sense of humor. Oh yeah, and we also had no part in World War II. That my friends, is why I am glad I'm not German. Living with all that guilt would drive a man insane.

Claudia Tyrrell (Italian)
After just spending a weekend with at least 40 assorted aunts, cousins, second cousins and their spouses to put to rest one of our own, I can honestly say that nothing ever changes in the Italian household.
We're large, loud, emotional, excitable, gregarious, protective people, with a fierce desire to be appreciated and a need to consume large quantities of food to express any emotional need.

This of course is a reflection of my views on the extended family I know that emanates from five sisters of an immigrant boy from Lucca, Italy who married an American cousin--my little round Grandma Tess. Grandpa Sem was 9 when he was orphaned and came to America at 12. He met my Grandma at an Italian club in Pittsburgh when she was a voluptuous 14 years of age.

They had five daughters in 6 years. Grandpa had a restaurant with large pasta barrels in which the Mafia used to store their guns and ammunition. With a family to protect he had no choice. When the Depression hit he lost the business. He then went into making his own wine and spirits. Unfortunately Prohibition hit and Grandpa was forced to bootleg his product. There were several raids on the family home and the kids became adept at hiding the hooch. When the Feds padlocked Grandma's parlor doors to keep customers out, she simply took them off the hinges and set them aside. If word came that a raid was imminent, she put the doors back on the hinges. They tried sledgehammers to walls, but to no avail. The booze was hidden in the davenport (a couch with a top that removed). One of the girls would have to play sick on the couch when the Feds came in.

Just like the Irish, alcohol plays a major part in the Italian household. Instead of Guinness, the Italians are raised on wine. My mother told of having a raw egg cracked in the family wine for breakfast as a young child.

In closing, I see that this reflection on my heritage is not so humorous but in many ways you have to experience it first hand to get a feel for it. Picture sitting around a large oak table, with bowls of pastas, trays of meats, baskets of breads, and displays of desserts like biscotti, pizzelles, cannolis, homemade cookies and pastries and the volume of voices shouting, loud enough to peel the paint. Not one person listening to another just yelling to be heard, and yet at the end of the day feeling a closeness that no matter what tragedy befalls you, there is always someone with a greater tragedy to speak of and a story to tell. Maybe you will eventually listen.

Now you know where I get all my good and bad qualities from--a heritage that is mainly Italian but with it's cross of Irish, Scottish, English to boot, it makes for a truly screwed up individual. I like to blame my menopause on my background.

Chris Tyrrell (Irishman still)
From Irish coffee to menopause, perhaps now you understand the Irish (and Italian) cultures more fully. I know I don't.

You know what ol' Chris is going to be doing St. Patrick's Day of this year? Going to work. Thinking about the old country? Probably thinking about work. And once there, someone will point to ol' Chris's outfit and say, "hey, you're not wearing any green." And do you know what I'll say? I'll say, "oh, yeah. Well."

Top o' the morning, suckas!


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Name: Late Bloomer
Subject: The comments
-- Mar 18, 2008 at 6:09PM
I find it funny that 9 years after this comedic peice was penned that folks are still commenting on it. From race bashing to salvation and everything in between and green.

Historical factoids and misinformation only ring true in these comments and not in the original written peice. Any excuse to spout out "Jesus saves" and nothing about the brutality a lot of the Irish people faced in the name of the All Mighty! Pagans across the span of time have suffered (and still do) at the hands of people like Patrick (Maewyn was his Pagan birth name. An orphan from Wales.)

And as for the snakes? They weren't really reptiles for everyone should know that was impossible...it was in referance to The snakes referred to are the "Serpents of Wisdom" -- the DRUIDS. As the Irish flutist James Galway said, "St. Patrick came to Ireland and turned a lot of happy Heathens into fighting Christians."

To you Christians here, I may be going to hell for being who and what I am but I have a lot of friends waiting there for me!

BTW, Tyrrell...I liked your article. When writing sparks others to think, research and dream it is truely a great peice of work.

Name: Good god
Subject: Re: Brittney
-- Mar 4, 2008 at 11:04AM
Christianity is indeed a religion, not a 'friendship'. A 'friendship' is what the Catholic priests supposedly have/had with all of those poor little boys. And with people like you here to preach endlessly about nonsense to the rest of us, it's little wonder many people consider religion to be a negative thing.

Keep your preaching in church - those of us that aren't insane are weary of the squeaky little voices threatening us with a mythological 'hell'.

Name: katty
Subject: um...
-- Mar 16, 2007 at 5:43PM
um... i didnt really read the stuff above so i cant say anything about it/them so i guess that i wont! i just wanted 2 sign something!:) =)

Name: Brittney
Subject: Re:Re: St. Patrick
-- Oct 29, 2005 at 12:40PM
Hey no problem.
I know what you mean about religion being potraid as a negitive thing. But Christianity is different, it is not a religion, it is a friendship. That is what I am, a Christian. Are you a Christian? I would love to know, just remember that Jesus loves you so much that He sent His only Son to earth to die for you. John 3:16-17 says, For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in His shall not parish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condimn the world, but that the world through Him could be saved.

Name: The Editors Respond
Subject: Re: St. Patrick
-- Oct 26, 2005 at 8:13PM
Thanks for the inspiring words. In an era when most of the world's violence and hatred is due to religion -- radical Muslims in the Middle East, radical Jews in Israel, and radical Christians here in the U.S. -- it's nice to be reminded that there's a positive side to religion.

Name: Brittney
Subject: St. Patrick
-- Oct 26, 2005 at 7:52PM
I believe that God works all things together for good. St. Patrick was kidnaped at the age of six-teen, yeah he had a hard life, but in stead of getting bitter he got better. He was saved and began spreading the love of Jesus Christ to the world. I think that God can use anyone for His purposes, and that means you to. No matter who you are or what your going through, God can use you if you just give Him your life.

Name: Erica Tyrrell
Subject: tis is funny
-- Mar 17, 2005 at 12:42AM
I came across this site looking from the meaning of my last name I saw Ireland and I remembered that my nan was Irish. And what has been written is true & is funny =D {sorry i might sound weird i blame it on my age im only 15} "Irish coffee is spiked." loved that quote if anyone has any infomation on the last name Tyrrell please email me xxLayDee_Exx@hotmail .com Erica XxX

Name: Erica Tyrrell
Subject: tis is funny
-- Jun 2, 2004 at 11:48AM
I came across this site looking from the meaning of my last name I saw Ireland and I remembered that my nan was Irish. And what has been written is true & is funny =D {sorry i might sound weird i blame it on my age im only 15} "Irish coffee is spiked." loved that quote if anyone has any infomation on the last name Tyrrell please email me xxLayDee_Exx@hotmail .com Erica XxX

Name: Raicheal Ni Cholgain
Subject: The true meaning of St. Patricks
-- Mar 29, 2004 at 9:40AM
Its great to see that some Irish people have intervened here and given the true meaning of St Patricks day. I have no idea where some of you get your information about the Irish and St.Patrick from. Maybe you should look for a more reliable source the next time and stop trying to be more Irish than the Irish themselves with your false and irrelavant information. And calling the Irish terrorists is a slight bit of a misinterpretation considering the status of your own countries.
Mise le Meas, Raicheal


Name: Mary O'Leary
Subject: The True Meaning of St. Patrick's Day
-- Mar 17, 2004 at 12:15PM
The Legend of St Patrick
Celebrated on 17th March
Patrick was born in Britain in the year 387. His real name is Maewyn Succat. The name St. Patrick was given to him later in life by Pope Celestine. His parents, Calphurnius and Conchessa belonged to a high ranking Roman family. St Patrick recorded most of the history of his life and his spiritual writings in the "Confessio" ; (Confession). Patrick also wrote letters to Coroticus. In this letter, he criticized a raid on Ireland conducted by Coroticus, a British chieftain. Several of Patrick's converts were killed during the raid. The letter also shows Patrick's resentment of the scornful attitude of British clergymen and nobility toward the Irish.

When he was 16, he was captured by pagan Irish raiders and sold into slavery to a chieftain named Meliuc in Antrim , Ireland. He spent his teen years and time alone as a shepard to tend to his master's sheep. During this time, his spirituality awakened and his belief in God became strong. He would pray many times in a day. After 6 years being in slavery, he had a dream that he would find a ship to take him to freedom. He escaped to follow his dream. He had to travel about 200 miles before he found a ship ready to set sail.

He managed to return to his family and home. Although Patrick was born a British, he considered himself an Irish because it was in Ireland that he discovered God. He had another vision. This vision would take him back to Ireland to preach the Gospel later. After his escape, he visited the St. Martin's monastry at Tours. He also visited the island sanctuary of Lerins. He placed himself under the guidance of a bishop named, St. Germain (Germanus). Patrick was promoted to priesthood later. He stayed in Britain for eighteen years. During those years, he was still haunted by memories of Ireland and would often speak of his experiences in Ireland with St. Germain. The Bishop, St. Germain recommended Patrick to the pope. Patrick requested to be sent to Ireland but was denied. Palladius was chosen instead. When Palladius died, Patrick was chosen to be sent to Ireland. He was called to Rome and made a Bishop by Pope Celestine in 432 before he went on his mission to Ireland. It was during that occasion that the name "Patercius" ; or "Patritius" ; was given to him. The name comes from two Latin words, "pater civium" meaning "the father of his people".

He suffered many trials as a missionary in Ireland. Patrick was imprisoned by the Druids but managed to escape. There are also many legends which talks about the miracles and magical fights between him and the Druids. One of which is when he was confronted by a chieftain named Dichu. Dichu drew his sword to kill Patrick but could not do so because his arm became rigid until he declared himself obedient to Patrick. Dichu was overwhelmed by the miracle that he made a gift of a large sabhall (barn). This was the first sanctuary dedicated by St. Patrick.

Another legend Patrick is most known for is driving the snakes from Ireland. Some tales tell that he stood on a hill and used a wooden staff to drive the snakes into the sea and banished them forever from Ireland. Another legend says that the snake resisted. Patrick then tricked it into entering a small box and cast it into the sea. It is true that Ireland has no snakes.

However, he managed to win favor with the local kings later. He spent the next 28 years traveling across the countryside to spread the word of God. He could do this easily as he was fluent with the Celtic language. He succeeded in converting almost the entire population of the island.

Legend has it that St. Patrick would use the shamrock to explain the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The word "shamrock" comes from the Gaelic word "seamrog" (In irish, it means "summer plant") meaning "trefoil" (three leafed) or "little clover". In Arabia, it is called shamrakh. It was a sacred emblem in Iran and to the Persian triads. It is also a sacred plant among the Druids. Shamrock is the national flower of Ireland. Many Irish people wear a shamrock on St. Patrick's Day. It is not the Irish national emblem. The harp has that honor. This explains the color green and shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day. Today, if you do not wear green on St. Patrick's Day, you will get pinched !!

St. Patrick died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, on the 17 March, 461 A.D at the age of 76. He is believed to be buried in Downpatrick, County Down. This is why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day on the seventeenth of March. St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland.

The first St. Patrick's Day celebration in the United States was held in Boston in 1737. The largest St. Patrick's Day parade is in New York City.

Name: BRIDGET MAYO
Subject: THE TRUE MEANING OF ST PATRICK DAY
-- Mar 17, 2004 at 10:29AM
THE LORD SAVE PATRICK LIFE TO SHOW HIM THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS NEEDTHE LORD IN YOUR LIFE NO MATTER WHAT YOU MIGHT
THINK.GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

Name: Maureen O'Donovon O'Roark
Subject: The Real Meaning of St. Patricks Day
-- Mar 17, 2004 at 9:53AM
If you ask people who Saint Patrick was, you’re likely to hear that he was an Irishman who chased the snakes out of Ireland.

It may surprise you to learn that the real Saint Patrick was not actually Irish—yet his robust faith changed the Emerald Isle forever.

Patrick was born in Roman Britain to a middle-class family in about A.D. 390. When Patrick was a teenager, marauding Irish raiders attacked his home. Patrick was captured, taken to Ireland, and sold to an Irish king, who put him to work as a shepherd.

In his excellent book, How the Irish Saved Civilization, Thomas Cahill describes the life Patrick lived. Cahill writes, “The work of such slave-shepherds was bitterly isolated, months at a time spent alone in the hills.”

Patrick had been raised in a Christian home, but he didn’t really believe in God. But now—hungry, lonely, frightened, and bitterly cold—Patrick began seeking out a relationship with his Heavenly Father. As he wrote in his Confessions, “I would pray constantly during the daylight hours” and “the love of God . . . surrounded me more and more.”

Six years after his capture, God spoke to Patrick in a dream, saying, “Your hungers are rewarded. You are going home. Look—your ship is ready.”

What a startling command! If he obeyed, Patrick would become a fugitive slave, constantly in danger of capture and punishment. But he did obey—and God protected him. The young slave walked nearly two hundred miles to the Irish coast. There he boarded a waiting ship and traveled back to Britain and his family.

But, as you might expect, Patrick was a different person now, and the restless young man could not settle back into his old life. Eventually, Patrick recognized that God was calling him to enter a monastery. In time, he was ordained as a priest, then as a bishop.

Finally—thirty years after God had led Patrick away from Ireland—he called him back to the Emerald Isle as a missionary.

The Irish of the fifth century were a pagan, violent, and barbaric people. Human sacrifice was commonplace. Patrick understood the danger and wrote: “I am ready to be murdered, betrayed, enslaved—whatever may come my way.”

Cahill notes that Patrick’s love for the Irish “shines through his writings . . . He [worried] constantly for his people, not just for their spiritual but for their physical welfare.”

Through Patrick, God converted thousands. Cahill writes, “Only this former slave had the right instincts to impart to the Irish a New Story, one that made sense of all their old stories and brought them a peace they had never known before.” Because of Patrick, a warrior people “lay down the swords of battle, flung away the knives of sacrifice, and cast away the chains of slavery.”

As it is with many Christian holidays, Saint Patrick’s Day has lost much of its original meaning. Instead of settling for parades, cardboard leprechauns, and “the wearing of the green,” we ought to recover our Christian heritage, celebrate the great evangelist, and teach our kids about this Christian hero.

Saint Patrick didn’t chase the snakes out of Ireland, as many believe. Instead, the Lord used him to bring into Ireland a sturdy faith in the one true God—and to forever transform the Irish people.


Name: Liam
Subject: St. Patrick's day
-- Mar 16, 2004 at 1:30PM
St. Patrick's day is just about the most culturaly offensive and widely accepted days in the American calendar. As someone who was born in Ireland I find it offensive and callus. One day a year where Americans from all walks get together and mock our accents, all claim to be Irish and perpetuate offensive stereo-types regarding alcoholism....allin the name of selling beer. How do people think that we're not offended? Hey, I have an idea....lets have an African American day where we all drink MD20/20 and talk like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert? How about Jewish day where we all put on big noses and complain and act cheap? How about Polish day...we could all walk around saying how stupid we are? Hmmm? No. Of course we can't do that. Why? Because it would be CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE!...yet people seem to think that the Irish are un-offendable? This holiday really p!$$e$ me off.

Name: jasmine
Subject: You
-- Mar 15, 2004 at 3:47PM
YOU CURSE TO MUCH!!!!!!

Name: WHAT THE F***
Subject: WHAT THE F***
-- Mar 11, 2004 at 8:34PM
Alright, first of all, I can agree with u on the I talian lifestytle, and not to mention the IRISH. Soooooo, I have felt it first hand.....I do experience this life.I'm 1/2 Irish 1/2 Italian! I can relate to some of your points! The wholr Italian Bizzz (i.e, wine, loud talking, the whole bit) but, come on WHAT THE F***! I'm doing a speech about St.Patrick, the celebration, and I may even add in about leprechauns and cereal boxes. I could have used a little more help, but I did like some of your points...a shitload of it was ironically funny!But, again, back things up...it's mostly stereotypical... do a little research before u go around discing and saying shit about ur own blood!

P.S.

IRISH AND ITALIAN ARE A SICK MIX : I'M PROUD TO BE IRISH(THE FIGHTN' IRIS THAT IS) I'M ALSO PROUD TO BE ITALIAN(GOD MADE OUR COUNTRY INTO A BOOT FOR A REASON : TO KICK EVERY OTHER COUNTRY'S ASS(OTHER THAN IRELAND). BE PROUD OF YUR HERITAGE

Name: Dr. No
Subject: Re: The True Meaning of St. Patrick's Day
-- Mar 7, 2004 at 11:08AM
Jesus dies for somebody's sins, but not mine or Patti Smith's.

Name: An LS.n Reader
Subject: The True Meaning of St. Patrick's Day
-- Mar 5, 2004 at 12:31PM
Did you know that jesus christ died on the cross for your sins,Do you actually know that pain that he went through so that you could live. Well, if you don't know and you want to know, then go and see the movie "The Passion". It explains exactly what he went through for YOU!!!!

Name: Jesusloves you!!!
Subject: Not the best I've ever seen.
-- Mar 5, 2004 at 12:23PM
This website, was not very helpful for trying to underdstand anything about the Irish or St.Patrick's Day!! Maybe you could find out more about it before you post this information on the internet.

Name: Billybobjoebob
Subject: AWEFUL
-- Mar 4, 2004 at 1:15PM
PLZ!investigate the irish culture a little bit more before you put it down jeez!To think,I was about to use this as information for my school report!

Name: h
Subject: this is awful
-- Mar 3, 2004 at 11:10AM
This website is the wost i have ever seen. I know its not your fault for not knowing about Irish culture, but investigate a little before you put it down.... learn -don't just assimilate.

Name: Levi
Subject: St. Patrick's Day
-- Feb 24, 2004 at 3:05PM
What is known around the world as the day the world turned green?? Could it be St.Paddy's Day??

Name: Anya
Subject: St. Patrick
-- Apr 2, 2003 at 2:19PM
St. Patrick's Day isn't about drinking or leprechauns. Once a year, the king would light a bonfire on a hill. Everyone had to put out every fire in their own homes and come to this hill to get fire from the King. St. Patrick set a fire on the opposite hill. The King said "Put that fire out before it spreads through the whole kingdom!" And that's what it did.

Name: Carlie
Subject: take the day off?
-- Mar 17, 2003 at 6:27PM
well i'm from fort mc murray alberta canada, population 50,000 and of that 49,999 of these people are newfies and then theres me.
those good ol' boys from the rock, with their crazy accents and dirty dirty fingers (why are they so dirty?), andyways newfoundland is all settlers from ireland, and on st. patrick's day they have a stat holiday, now i say since our city is mostly new found landers, that enjoya a drink just as much as if they were still back home on the rock... why can't we just take the day off??? i know i even find myself a non-newfie takin so as yous can't's even knows what i'ms saynings buys, therefore in conclusion i should be able to skip work and drink, and if they won't allow that then they shouldn't have fired me for drinking at work :*(

Name: Jesse Childerstone
Subject: I'm Irish and Welsh!
-- Mar 17, 2003 at 6:12PM
I'm Irish and Welsh but I don't have red hair or pale skin! St.Patty's day is all about stuff. You do stuff then you walk around doing more stuff. Couldn't be any more simple.

Name: me
Subject: hmmm...
-- Mar 17, 2003 at 3:53PM
calm down. it's not all that bad.

Name: Naked Lesbian Secret Agent
Subject: Re: forget ireland
-- Mar 17, 2003 at 11:42AM
Hi Guys

The true meaning of St Patrick's day is for a whole load of bog trotters to con a whole load of Yanks into parting with their hard-earned in order to try and kill a whole load of brits.

Big fucking joke!

Then what happens someone has a go at you and you all start pooping yourselves and starting the "War on Terrorism". Terrorism was hurting us a long time ago but did you hear us moaning - NO. You weren't even listening. You were just doing your silly little gigs and putting the money in the Noraid tins!

Now we are giving you more help against terrorism than you ever gave us. Do we expect you to be grateful? We wont be holding our breaths!

Name: Scot
Subject: forget ireland
-- Mar 16, 2003 at 9:25PM
it's all about Scottish pride!

Name: John Duane
Subject: I Love Being Irish!
-- Mar 15, 2003 at 7:01PM
I't great to be Irish wittyness comes to you when your born good looks follow we have a great history, great drinks great strengt a lovely women making friend is second nature and our accent really get the english red hot because it's so cool to speak it and the english have a crap posh one so there you go i recamend evey one to come here esspecaly the yanks and the french. so good luck to yea. agus conas ata tu?

Name: jason
Subject: St.Patrick
-- Feb 12, 2003 at 9:42AM
any facts about him

Name: Cierra(Irish)
Subject: At.Patrick's Day
-- Dec 16, 2002 at 11:01AM
Tyrell this still has not explained what the true meaning was a long time ago to celebrate St.Patrick's Day. It couldn't have just been to get drunk.I'd appreciate someone who convey's the Irish a little better than you did. There is more to them than what you have here.

Name: Cierra(Irish)
Subject: At.Patrick's Day
-- Dec 16, 2002 at 11:00AM
Tyrell this still has not explained what the true meaning was a long time ago to celebrate St.Patrick's Day. It couldn't have just been to get drunk.I'd appreciate someone who convey's the Irish a little better than you did. There is more to them than what you have here.

Name: justin cory gagnon
Subject: st patrick day
-- Mar 16, 2002 at 7:12PM
how do u celebrat this holiday

Name: Tina
Subject: St. Patrick Day
-- Mar 14, 2001 at 9:34PM
Why do you think we celebrate St.Patrick Day?
Why do you think Americans love to celebrate a holiday that started in Ireland?
I can understand that it supposed to be comments about certain things but right now I need alot of advices from many peoples.Could you all please help me out? Thank you.

Tina
Write back a.s.a.p.

Name: Chris Tyrrell Responds
Subject: Re: Chris T.'s Latest Abomination
-- Mar 15, 2000 at 6:48AM
Joe Average,

Thank you so much for your comments.

And by the way, one of my favorite moments in this piece is when one brother writes "I'm no philospher," yet he majored in philosophy. Oh, the irony is tangy and tart, to be sure.

And, yes, as I said before, stranger, all these characters--with the exception of "Chris" are real.

P.S. It has been said that you can never go home again, my narcissistic "bro."

Sit on it.

Name: Joe Average
Subject: Chris T.'s Latest Abomination
-- Mar 15, 2000 at 3:35AM
This is probably the least coherent and enjoyable string of characters I've have ever seen presented in the English language.
In what sense is one to consider this anything less than an insult to the reader's taste?
I don't know what sort of ego trip you're on there C. Todd, but don't trick an honest working man like myself to waste retinal collection of light on this insipid drivel.

P.S. When are you coming home again, bro?


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