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True Tales of Tipping (or The Pirate's Guide to Not Pissing Me Off)
by The Pirate

published 11/20/00

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The Pirate is a bartender on New York's Lower East Side.



MOST RECENT YAK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:

Subj: tipping
I am not a bartender, but I do enjoy a nicely poured Guiness when I go to a bar.
As for tipping, I typically run a tab while drinking... buy for myself, my wife and friends.
At the end, I find that on an $80.00 tab leaving $20.00 to $25.00 is greatly appreciated and remembered.
If it's pay as you go drinking, leave a buck or two or three with each order (depending on number of drinks in order)and on final order (if you plan to return to this bar another day) add additional five. If not that time, the next time there you'll be remembered with comps.
g.v. m______k

-- g.v.mlinek
Feb 29, 2008 at 3:09PM

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All right, last time I was telling you all about some of the simple things a person can do to make the bartender eager to serve you, and thus assure yourself that you can get your beer right when you want it instead of goddamn twenty minutes from now. The little things like how you order and how you respond to being I.D.'ed can make all the difference in the world. By far, however, the one thing that makes the most difference between having your drink ready for you without even asking, and being invisible when it comes time to order, is in how you tip. And ironically it is the part that people screw up the most.

We are living, as the poet says, in the material world, and bartenders can't live off fruit garnishes and beer nuts alone. We all have to buy food and pay rent, just like everybody else. So the people that the bartender wants to see again and again, whose patronage he or she wants to solicit, are going to be the ones who make them feel like they made enough money to justify taking a cab home, instead of riding the crappy subway at dawn. And believe me, all public transportation is inherently crappy between the hours of four and six a.m., no offense to the M.T.A.

The way this benefits you is that in order to try to get a good tipper to come back often, bartenders will do nice stuff to make him or her feel at home. Comp you an extra round or two. Remember your name and what you drink and ask you how you're doing--and even care about the answer. There's one place I go where I can't walk in without having a Maker's on the rocks waiting for me at the bar before I've even said "hello." And all because the first time I went there I laid one extra dollar on the bar.

Good tipping pays for itself in the long run. For example, one night last week yours truly was out at a bar he'd never been to before, with two of his knucklehead friends. I did all of the ordering and paying--simplifying, like I said last time, the bartender's job--and we got a vodka tonic, a Manhattan, and a martini, which all together cost $21. I hand the barmaid two twenties; she brings me back a ten, a five, and four ones, and I drop the fiver as a tip for her on the rail 1. Total cost of Round One: $26.

We order a second round, same three drinks, with a special request that she stir my martini the way the drink is supposed to be made, instead of shaking it and thank you very much James Bond for fucking it up for everybody. Drinks again are $21 plus six bucks this time for tip because I know that two of these drinks are a pain in the ass to make and because I made a jackass request about exactly how I wanted mine made. Total cost Round Two: $27.

When I go to pay for round number three, however, the barmaid lets me know that she's only going to charge me for the Manhattan and the vodka tonic, my martini is on her. I pay $13 for the two drinks, tipping her three bucks and then--and this is very important, so important that it can not be overstated -- I also tip her an extra five on top of that for my free martini. REMEMBER: YOU MUST ALWAYS TIP FOR A FREE DRINK. If you don't, you will not get another one. It's even a good idea to maybe tip a little extra for that free round because, remember, they don't have to give it to you if they don't want. So anyway, total cost of Round Three: $21.

Round Four is on the house 2 for all three of us, but I give the bartender ten dollars as tip. Now we've had four rounds, and if you've been paying attention you'll know that we've paid all together $84 including tip. And if you're really sharp, you'll also put it together that $84 is the exact cost of what we would have paid for four rounds anyway if we'd screwed the bartender by tipping nothing. Whatever extra we ended up paying in tips, we recouped in free liquor.

And don't forget, because we were tipping so well we were getting excellent service. Before we were even done with one round, the barkeep was asking us if we needed another. And this place was jam-packed. Guys were shouting and waving twenties and couldn't get served, meanwhile we didn't even have to remind the bartender what we wanted, even counting my pain in the ass drink request.

A good way to think about tipping in a bar is to look at it like car repair, and bear with me here. If you've ever been to a mechanic, you know that in any repair you pay for two separate things: parts and labor. When you pay for a drink, the actual physical liquid is only half of the equation, like the new parts for your car. The other half is the tip for having someone make the drink and bring it to you, like paying the mechanic for the time that he spent actually working on your car. In the case of a buyback, it's like the garage is giving you the new muffler for free, but you still have to pay the mechanic for actually installing it.

The important thing to remember here is that tipping is mandatory, and also that you should tip consistently. I can't tell you some magical amount that guarantees 3 free rounds early and often; just always tip the bartender something for each drink, and tip them something every time. I can tell you that if you only just have enough money to pay for your beer but can't afford the tip, don't buy the beer. If you can't afford the tip you can't afford the drink. If you're ever in doubt over how much exactly to tip, think of it like tipping a waiter: 20% is probably fair. However, if your beer costs $4.25 and you leave a scrupulously exact 20 per cent tip of 83 cents and don't bump it up to the much easier one dollar, be prepared to have those coins jammed somewhere uncomfortable, math whiz.

1 The surface of the bar is divided like World War I trench warfare. Money left on the strip of wood where the bartender physically makes drinks, a.k.a. the rail, tells her that you intend for that money to be a tip, so she can take it at her leisure. Money left on the opposite side, the lip at the front where you are sitting, is in your territory and that tells the bartender that you want to keep it so please don't take it. Money placed anywhere in the middle of the bar is in no man's land, and a bartender can't tell if, when you leave, all that money--and thus their tip--is going to disappear, and they are filled with Tip Anxiety. [And an anxious bartender is not a happy bartender.]

2 There are a few different ways that a bartender can let you know that your drinks are on the house. They can simply tell you, of course, or they can just knock on the bar, like knocking on a door. This should let you know your drink is free. They might also say "Good luck to you." In this case, they are not merely wishing you good fortune, but telling you without actually mentioning cash that your drink is free. Just say thanks and remember to leave a tip.

3 There in fact is no guarantee of a free round, no matter how much you tip. One time I had a guy ask me "Hey buddy, am I ever gonna get a buyback here?" and I told that yes, this one was going to be on the house until he'd asked me for it, but now it was $5.50, please.

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Name: g.v.mlinek
Subject: tipping
-- Feb 29, 2008 at 3:09PM
I am not a bartender, but I do enjoy a nicely poured Guiness when I go to a bar.
As for tipping, I typically run a tab while drinking... buy for myself, my wife and friends.
At the end, I find that on an $80.00 tab leaving $20.00 to $25.00 is greatly appreciated and remembered.
If it's pay as you go drinking, leave a buck or two or three with each order (depending on number of drinks in order)and on final order (if you plan to return to this bar another day) add additional five. If not that time, the next time there you'll be remembered with comps.
g.v. m______k

Name: EV Bartender
Subject: barmaid??
-- Dec 10, 2006 at 2:21PM
Fellow bartender here, all very good advice, HOWEVER, barmaid is an offensive term and is very outdated. Get with it. Also, as important the points you make are, it is equally important to further emphasize that free rounds are a PRIVELIDGE not a RIGHT and that some establishments do not allow buybacks so don't be an ass just because you didn't get one for free.

Name: Hans
Subject: tipping
-- Aug 14, 2006 at 6:31PM
interesting point of view, tipping is mandatory... I was a bartender for some years and worked my way through the kitchen and wait floor to get there. I have to say that it is that very mentality that pervades the bargoers culture that drove me away from cooking, in other words, the 300 bucks a night as opposed to the 13 bucks an hour. I just want to say I'm sorry to all the cooks and dishwashers who are too socially inept, too ugly, or who don't speak english. Its unfair and we know it.

Name: Brian
Subject: Tipping in other countries
-- May 29, 2006 at 4:55PM
Im a bartender in Ireland which is fairly similar to England as regards service. Tipping here is neither compulsory or even expected but definitely appreciated! I wouldnt find it condescending but as Im a manager I usually try to avoid tips as I get paid quite well.

Name: Phyllis
Subject: tipping out
-- Jan 7, 2006 at 7:35PM
I am a waitress, and my bartender is tryng to tell me that i have to tip her a dollar for evry table i have. i say i should tip her 10% of my total achol beverage bill am i wrong of what is the average? thank you

Name: Annie
Subject: Tipping from waitstaff
-- Nov 25, 2005 at 11:34AM
What is the standard amount/percentage that waitstaff tips out a bartender?

Name: derek
Subject: makes sense
-- Apr 8, 2005 at 2:35PM
being a Canadian who happens to like good beer and service, tipping is an important part of pub life. When you get free drinks, pay back in tip and get rewarded in fast service. And yes, the more complicated the drink, the higher you should tip. And if you can't afford tip, the rest of you money is taxi money :P That's how it goes and should be.

Oh and about the girls who sit around and wait for free drinks, do youself a favor, i like to call it the 5 minute rule... if you can keep a conversation with her for 5 minutes without her zoning out or being a bitch, dont buy her one, shes being a cheap slut :P

Ive heard in england, tipping is considered condecending too...

Name: CT
Subject: Good guide but...
-- Feb 23, 2005 at 5:57PM
Some people coming from other countries do not know about our custom of tipping. There are many countries where tipping is considered condecending or unheard of. Good service is expected because it's there job, not because of a reward. In other cases, some patrons are not earning nearly as much as the bartender, they should not feel obligated to go broke just to hang out one night with there friends. The tipping concept in the US makes sense because food service workers make low wages and tips are very important, but tips should still be recognized by the server as "NONMANDATORY&q uot;. Just because some one did not tip you does not justify a lesser degree of service.

Name: Nayeldraccon
Subject: Gah!
-- Jul 1, 2004 at 3:10AM
I've been a bartender for oh, around 7 years. I love my job, and I love the people that I have met because of the job. But the tipping thing pisses me off. Most often, I am paired with Dana. Cute girl. (no crude male comments to describe her, but anything that you can fantasize, describes her.) She is a TERRIBLE bartender! One of the worst I've ever seen! If you order a drink that doesn't have exactly what the components are, listed in the title, she doesn't know it. (I.E. Jack & coke vs. a Tequila Sunrise) We work together about 4 nights a week, each night with me doing at LEAST 90% of the work. It is my misfortune that our bar is mostly frequented by males during the summer. Dana may sell only 15 dollars in liquor per hour, and make 40 dollars in tips. Whereas, I will sell marginally over 200 bucks in booze and clear $2,50. Guys. If you're out drinking, tip the person that serves you. Not the person that you have no hope of taking home. If the bartender that makes your drinks leaves the bar because he can't make his ends meet, what are you going to do when the pretty one doesn't know what to do when you order? This is ridiculous. Dance with the person that brought you. It's ediquette.

Name: ex bar maid
Subject: ur there to drink!!
-- Apr 28, 2004 at 9:31PM
ok so fair enough i couldnt be bothered to read all the replies to this article, but the way i see it is that the barmaid/man is there to be paid. the tips they get are a bonus. If only retail workers would get such a perk as to eb tipped for selling merchandise. the only difference is that the retail assistant does not get the priviledge of a tipping cup. my god, to be given extra on top of wages is a benefit which should not be assumed, but appreciated when received. i for one would be very grateful for extra money on top of my wages, especially as i work 10hrs everyday and most probably earn the same per hour as most bar people. tips are a perk of the job. if u get them be grateful. if u dont, then whatever. u arent there for tipping, ur there for a service so do ur job! ppl who tip shouldnt get extra treatment. if they do, its prostitution of a very low extent! tip me, pay me extra and u will gain the benefits. pay me extraand i will give u a bif reward...oh please!

Name: LMNO
Subject: buck a drink, or not
-- Dec 4, 2000 at 6:13PM
the way i see it, i go to a lot of bars. some i like, some i don't. the bars i like, i'll want to come back to. otherwise, i tip a dollar a drink. that's a fair tip, seeing as how i usually get a beer, unless i'm gonna be eating. if i like the bar, club, patrons, and bartender, then i will know i will return. in that case, i will either leave a card & start a tab, or, (if that option is unavailable), tip high. in addtion, i will treat the bartender with compassion and courtesy. this usually ensures i am known in the places i like to be, and not overly ignored in the temporary hang-outs. with the card, the bartender doesn't have to collect and make change, and knows i will be there for the long haul, and i always tip above 20% at the end of the night. i try to make an extra effort in establishing a relationship with the bartender, to ensure we're on the same page. however, if the bartender is an ass, he don't get nothin but the standard. a bar relationshp is a two way street, after all.

Name: the SortaRican
Subject: chicks gotta tip too
-- Nov 27, 2000 at 7:49PM
Miriam,
There are three answers to your theory that women, especially those with big boobs and/or blond hair, don't need to tip:
1) Tipping is a courtesy. Us bartender types make less than McMinimum wage and we depend on the tips to make our living. Because guys will fawn over you is no reason to rip off the barkeep who's just trying to earn some cash.
2) Most bartenders with any sense tend not to give special treatment to women who expect it. Typically, a girl, no matter how cute she is, isn't getting first-rate service if the bar is packed and she's not tipping (especially if she orders anything in a blender or with more than three fruit juices).
The way I see it: there's no shortage of women out there, so letting a cute girl hog up a seat at my bar without leaving a respectable tip is taking money out of my pocket.
3) Follow this logic: I work at a notorious pick-up spot in NYC. I am one of the few people at the bar who's completely sober. Most of the women appreciate having someone behind the bar who's on their side in a place where a bunch of scummy guys are looking to get a girl hammered so that he can take he home to hammer her some more. Enough said.

The point: If you want to let some guy buy you drinks all night, fine. But remember that the guy behind the bar is trying to earn a living too.

Name: miriam
Subject: Re: tipping bartenders
-- Nov 27, 2000 at 12:08PM
Well, then this system must be a necessity for men only. Chicks, especially those with blonde hair and/or big boobs, get special treatment anyway. So, once again, I still dont know why I should bother giving large tips.

Name: Elbow Macaroni
Subject: Re: tipping bartenders
-- Nov 26, 2000 at 12:48AM
Indeed you are missing the point. They paid the same amount but they got first class service. That's the difference. If they hadn't tipped, it would have cost them the same $84, but they'd be treated like crap.

Name: miriam
Subject: tipping bartenders
-- Nov 26, 2000 at 12:13AM
Somehow I fail to see the logic here. You kept tipping the bartender and still ended up paying $84 bucks for your four rounds which is exactly what you would have paid anyway. I can understand your logic if you kept tipping, and ended up paying 64-74 bucks total and saved some money. But since in the end I am not gonna save any money with this tipping system, why the fuck should I bother. Do I care whether the bar owner or the bartended gets my 20 bucks? No!!! One way or the other, somehow I get the distinct feeling I am being ripped off! So, I'll keep tipping a buck per drink and if you dont like it - get a job elsewhere.

Name: Art
Subject: hey
-- Nov 20, 2000 at 5:20PM
Nice article -- I usually tip bartenders, but I want to piss you off. Meet me in hell you arrogant publican.


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