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Name: darryl appleby
Subject: comments
-- Feb 22, 2004 at 2:10PM
this is what i think
The holiday season brings much unwanted misery: inbred tourists, crowded stores, and a spate of warbling pop singers who think they’ll get some kind of reward in the afterlife if they produce Christmas albums in this one.
So, in this hell that pits Jewel against Celine Dion in a contest to see who can make “O Holy Night” more unlistenable, it is a surprise to find a celebrity holiday album that truly reflects the spirit of the season.
That album is the latest release from the creators of “South Park”: Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics. From the same people who brought you one of the best movie musicals of the decade comes the year's most disturbing holiday album.
When I went to Tower to buy this album, the cashier was unable to find it. But that didn’t stop her from going to town on me, criticizing my choice of music. She told me how sick she thought “South Park” was and she asked me why I would buy such offensive, sacrilegious garbage. Before I could even answer, she suggested that I buy Rosie O’Donnell’s Christmas Album.
And though I scoffed at the impudence of this woman, a middle-aged cashier who’d admittedly seen the show only once, after listening to this album, I realized something. She was right. This album is chock full of the most offensive songs ever committed to tape.
On “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone (along with Marc Shaiman) have aimed at the sacred holiday season and brilliantly skewered the hell out of it. Now, it should be no surprise that an album that features a talking piece of Christmas shit is offensive. What is impressive is how far Parker and Stone take the joke and how well they make this work.
“Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics” is an album that seamlessly mixes the standards like “Carol of the Bells”, “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel”, and “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” with chestnuts like the charming and breezy “It Happened In Sun Valley”, the hilarious “Christmas Time In Hell”, old favorite “The Lonely Jew on Christmas”, the direct "Merry Fucking Christmas", and the aptly titled “The Most Offensive Song Ever”. Without any semblance of false humility, Parker, Stone and Shaiman expose the holiday season for what it has become: a crass, mindless, disgusting torture test that challenges the patience of all involved.
On “The Most Offensive Song Ever”, the muffled Kenny McCormick and Mr. Hankey sing the story of the Virgin Mary. With a simple piano accompaniment, they sing about the moment where the angel Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary. Mr. Hankey sings, “He said, ‘You are to be the Virgin mother,’ and Mary thought that was weird . . . but then Gabriel said to Mary, ‘My child have no fear.’” This is where Kenny picks up the chorus, “Cause you can suck on my dick, oh yeah, and still be a Virgin Mary. You can suck on my dick, oh yeah,” and Mr. Hankey completes the verse with “and still not be considered flawed.” The chorus ends with the lyrics, “You’re still a virgin in the eyes of God.” This reinterpretation of the story continues for two more verses.
“Christmas Time In Hell”, performed by Satan, the Dark Prince, illustrates this point perfectly when he reminds us that everyone can get into the spirit of the season, even those in Hell. Satan shows us this when he sings, “There’s Princess Diana holding burning mistletoe. Over Gene Siskel’s head, You can see his weenie grow.” And not content to only attack the dead, the song ends by dooming the living. “Gather close together and make it quick. We gotta make room for Andy Dick. Wake his mother and ring the bell. It’s Christmas time in Hell!!!”
“Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics” is not for the kids. But neither is “South Park”. Like the show that spawned it, the album is profane, shocking, and often sacrilegious. It is also an album I intend to play at my next holiday party. Simply, this is the ultimate stocking stuffer for the most fucked up member of your family.
Name: airmax
Subject: -south park-
-- Nov 30, 2003 at 3:51PM
mr. hankey rules
Name: Cynth
Subject: Get the lyrics right
-- May 27, 2003 at 6:09PM
Actually, the lyrics to The Most Offensive Song Ever include "'Cause you can suck all the dick *you want*" instead of "oh yeah".
Name: keith
Subject: south park
-- May 25, 2003 at 12:27AM
CAN I GET A SAMPLE OR AN ALBUM CAN I HAVE IT FOR FREE?I REALLY LIKE SOUTH PARK.IM IN AN HOSPITALIVE WATCHED EVERY THING ON THE SOUTH PARK.SO PLEASE EMAIL ME BACK AND THINK ABOUT IT PLEASE.
THANK U
Jacob Reeves
Name: Jon Luckena
Subject: Mr Hankey
-- Jan 4, 2002 at 10:58AM
Its an ok album of poop
songs for the true die
hard fans.
Name: Josh Varium
Subject: Mr Hankey
-- Oct 10, 2000 at 4:02AM
'Dead, Dead, Dead' is the most inspiring song ever. Trey Parker at his very best!
Name: stu jones
Subject: mr. hankey
-- Jan 19, 2000 at 9:05AM
i think this is the funniest group of songs that i've heard in a long time. and just to show that all it takes is a sense of humor to enjoy it... My family, the devout christians, with mom the Baptist Sunday school teacher... At Christmas dinner, this album and the show itself, without any editing of language or content, were main topics of conversation. I had my parents and siblings rolling and wanting me to tape it for them. How about that?
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