Gallipoli (Peter Weir, 1981): Hoffman just had a birthday, so I'm going to open this review with a little tribute to him. But really--it'll be little. I just want to compliment the man on his talent for instantly recalling Movie Quotes. He's not the only guy I know who can do this, but I envy anyone with the talent.

For example, when I mentioned to Hoffman that Peter Weir's Gallipoli was going to be an upcoming Guy Movie of the Week, he instantly spouted out, in perfect Australian, "How fast can you run??" "As fast as a leopard!" "How fast will you run???" "As fast as a leopard!" That obviously is a quote from the movie.

Hoffman probably last saw Gallipoli 3 years ago. I had seen it three days previous and could only nod and smile and say, "Yup, helluva picture." I didn't have a quote to throw back at him, and I didn't have the next couple lines of the above dialogue at my disposal. Maybe if I had sat down and thought about it, but I just ain't that quick.

To demonstrate how truly terrible I am at quoting movies, we need only the example of Braveheart. Braveheart is my all-time favorite film, and I must have seen it 20 times. I can pretty much recite all the picture's dialogue from beginning to end. My problem isn't with dialogue--it's with that unique beast the Movie Quote.

If someone pressed a pistol to my forehead and demanded, "give me a quote from Braveheart, now!" he would get one of the following three things: 1) I would say "Every man dies, but not every man truly lives." Yeah, that's a quote from the movie, but it's on the fucking poster. I could recite that quote before I'd even seen the picture. 2) I might pull out something like, "Freeeedom!!!!" Okay, in the context of the story that's a wonderful line, but it's not going engender chuckles of recognition like "say hello to my little friend." 3) I'd say, "well there's no actual dialogue in this scene, but my favorite moment in Braveheart is when William Wallace recognizes Robert the Bruce on the battlefield, and the wind gets knocked out of him, and he sits down . . . I mean, man--Mel Gibson says so much without saying anything . . ." My recall of movie moments: perfect. My recall of Movie Quotes: shitty.

I have a theory about Hoffman and guys like Hoffman who can quickly recall Movie Quotes. It has to do with an article I was just reading in the Science Times about how scientists are theorizing that long-term memories get formed during a specific phase of sleep which is not REM sleep, but one of the lesser-publicized types of sleep. If that's true, all those movie quotes are probably drilling themselves into Hoffman's consciousness while he snoozes, which presents the crux of the difference: Hoffman dreams about movies. Hoffman dreams about movies, but I dream about sex. Well, sex and zombies. But mostly sex. Which means I don't think I have anything to apologize for.

Gallipoli is the story of Frank (Mel Gibson) and Archy (Mark Lee), two amateur runners who strike up a friendship and enlist in the Australian Army together to fight in The Great War. Frank, the cynic, ends up in the infantry, while Archy, eager and underage, gets a spot in the highly-regarded Lighthorsemen. The two meet up again during training in Egypt, and Frank cajoles his way into joining Archy among the horse.

Finally they're sent to the war in Turkey. The famous battle of Gallipoli is the Australian's Alamo--an example of military bravery and determination, but not necessarily of tactical brilliance. Can Frank and Archy's friendship survive the chaos of war and the callousness of their commanders?

Gallipoli is a first-rate piece of anti-war, pro-friendship cinema. It's also highly quotable. But for that, go see Hoffman.