The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three (Joseph Sargent, 1974):

Garber: "My only priority is saving the lives of these passengers."
Correll: "Screw the goddamn passengers! What the hell did they expect for their lousy 35 cents--to live forever?"

I've been known to accuse younger viewers, raised on MTV-style imagery, to be jaded and unable to appreciate a the simple pleasures of a straightforward gunfight or car chase sans crazy angles, machine gun edits, and dusty light beams streaming through venetian blinds.

But seeing The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three again knocked me off my high horse, albeit only briefly. I realized that I'm a little jaded too. Having been raised on the theft of $600 million in negotiable bearer bonds in Die Hard, hijacking a subway car for a stinkin' single million sounded downright petty to me. Despite everything I knew, I was sure that the subway car hijacking had to be a ruse--a cover-up while they drilled through the tunnel and up into the Federal Reserve or something.

But, nope. I guess in 1974 $100 billion dollars (oops, I mean, one miiilllion dollars) sounded like more money. Mr. Blue (Robert Shaw), Mr. Green (Martin Balsam) and Mr. Grey (Hector Elizondo) grab up that cash like a bunch of thirsty men in a fountain filled with teenage underwear models. And the mayor--his reaction when he hears he's about to get stuck for a cool mil: "Shit piss fuck!!"

For all their meticulous plotting, though, I'd still argue that it sounds stingy. They've captured the South Ferry-bound 6 train, parked it in the tunnel between two stations, and are demanding the mil or they'll start shooting passengers. On the other end of the phone is transit authority cop Lt. Garber.

Garber is an expert on transit policing--he describes the typical crimes he encounters in a day as "robbery, assault, murder, drunkenness, illness, vandalism, mishigoss, abusiveness, sexual molestation, exhibitionism . . ." When the hijacking comes up, he barely bats an eyelash, although his enormous shnozz does some flapping around. (As my co-editor Jordan Hoffman has pointed out elsewhere, Matthau's mug is the punchline of this entire film. Of course he also called this "Let's remake Dog Day Afternoon", missing the fact the this came out the year before "Dog Day".)

What follows is a showdown in which neither party is too bright. But at least everyone gets to crack some terrific one-liners: (Mayor: "What if the hijackers start shooting at me?" Deputy Mayor: "They have no reason to shoot at you." Mayor: "Why -- do you think they're from out of town?")

And this pic delivers the suspense. Blue has given the city a one-hour deadline by which to pay. Meanwhile, he needs the money divided into $50s and $100s, and stacked just so, and tied with exactly two bands . . . and it's got to get from the financial district up to the 20's through New York City traffic. Blue musta really wanted to have to shoot a hostage.

The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three is a cool suspenser, and a terrific showcase for Matthau and Shaw, but it's all the profane yucks that make this one a keeper. Catch it at your nearest video store, on the really sweet-looking widescreen DVD if possible.