Revenge of the Nerds (Jeff Kanew, 1984): As a young man growing up in Philadelphia, I knew the pain that only a nerd can feel. Looked down upon because I was--let's be frank--supernaturally intelligent. Mocked because my mother dressed me in no-name clothes from the discount store and advised me to hike my pants up to my chin to cover my pot belly. Hamstrung by my bafflement at the social conventions everyone else seemed to be born knowing . . . Horny, yet severely handicapped in my dealings with women (for all the above reasons).

The life of a nerd is a life that flies too high, and gets too little pussy. But growing up in the 80's, there was a balm for the sting of social disenfranchisement, and that balm was called Revenge of the Nerds, the movie. You could call Revenge of the Nerds an Animal House knock-off, and it is similar, being a member of the whole underdog-frat-against-the-world genre. But Revenge of the Nerds towers high above Animal House as a film of social importance, and philosophical significance. It's also funnier.

Adam's College is one of the premiere learning institutions in the country, and their computer department is unrivaled. Therefore the school attracts a lot of nerds. Unfortunately, they also have a pretty strong football team (coached by Mr. John Goodman), and a prevailing fraternity culture. Therefore, the school attracts a lot of jocks. Maybe you can see where this conflict is going.

The fraternity that rules the Greek council is the Alpha Betas, mostly composed of football jocks. They're lead by quarterback Stan Gable (Ted McGinley, a.k.a. Jefferson D'Arcy from "Married... With Children"), and they hate nerds ("Times are changing. These nerds are a threat to our way of life"). When they burn down their frat house in the course of a beer-soaked party, they take over the freshmen dorm, and throw all the freshmen out.

Among those freshmen stuck sleeping in the dorm are Louis (Robert Carradine . . . his nerdy dad appears briefly and is played by none other than Farmer Hoggett, here called "Jamie" Cromwell) and his buddy Gilbert (Anthony Edwards, who'd later macho up for Top Gun and "E.R."). Most of the freshmen soon find new digs in frat houses, but Louis and Gilbert, along with a dozen or so other nerds, are unable to find acceptance. So they all get together, renovate a house, and build a nerd Utopia.

But the jock threat still looms. When a brick is thrown through the window of the nerds' house, jocks are suspected, but the nerds' only recourse is through the Greek council, which is ruled by jocks. Therefore, the nerds must form their own fraternity, and take over the council by winning the Greek Games at the Homecoming Carnival.

The nerds apply to all-black fraternity Lambda Lambda Lambda (presided over by Bernie Casey). The Tri-Lambs don't want them, but an obscure loophole in the frat by-laws allows the nerds to become 60-day probationary members. Eventually, the nerds prove their mettle with a retaliatory strike against the jocks (the old liquid heat in the jock straps trick, not to mention hidden cameras in the Pi's sorority house, for the viewing of breasts, and of course, "hair pie"). The nerds become official Tri-Lambs.

Now the last obstacle is winning the Greek Games to become the head of the Greek Council. Using their superior scientific skills, and naked pictures of one of the Pi's, they triumph at the Games. Meanwhile, Gilbert gets a cute nerd girlfriend, and Louis wins over blonde sorority chick Betty with his surprisingly polished lovemaking abilities ("Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex"). The film ends with a triumphant speech about how nerds rule the world, and all ends on a happy note.

Sleazy college humor? Well, yeah. Gratuitous nudity and booger jokes. But this film was just as funny two weeks ago as it was when I was 12, and it's strongly recommended as a Guy Movie this week.

Because, remember, if the movie teaches us anything, it's that nerds are Guys too.